


solitude for two

by leothequeenn



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cashton, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Luke and Mikey are only mentioned tho, M/M, late night talks in the forest, late night walks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leothequeenn/pseuds/leothequeenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was quiet before the boy next to him turned, and Ashton felt his hands shake when he realized just how fucking <i>close</i> this kid was. "What's your name?"<br/>Ashton shook his head. "I'm not telling."</p>
            </blockquote>





	solitude for two

**Author's Note:**

> http://guarneretoye.tumblr.com/post/96252441002/consider-these-theres-a-long-ass-train-and  
> "i come here when i want to be alone and i didn’t think anyone knew about it so where the hell did you come from au"  
> enjoy!♥

Ashton’s hands were trembling.

He wasn’t in the best of moods, he just had a huge fight with one of his friends (Michael Clifford, to be exact) and he just couldn’t stop thinking about doing a certain something in the bathroom. It seemed to be calling out his name, and he kept shuffling toward the room, his eyes trained on the floor so if anyone were to see him, they wouldn’t be able to see the disappointment and terror in his eyes - as if they couldn’t see that from his slumped over form as he walked.

But something told him he couldn't just disappear in the bathroom for two hours and _maybe_ come out of there unharmed (it was a very slim maybe) and so he changed his path, instead grabbing his coat and making a beeline toward the front door, slipping outside without a sound so that his siblings wouldn't wake up. He played with his keys, wondering if he should even use the car to go for a drive, but then no, his mother would know and a drive didn’t sound nice at the moment. That wasn’t something he wanted.

Instead he just decided to go on foot, his nails digging into his wrists as he walked into the warm, summer night, hoping maybe that would get the thought out of his head.

He looked over at the house beside his and remembered there was a family that moved in two weeks ago and Ashton, strangely enough, didn't care to meet the new-comers. They had a smaller family than Ashton did, or maybe it was the same size? He didn't know but all he knew was that there was a boy in there, probably younger than he was. Which was maybe the reason why he hadn't introduced himself to them yet.

He also remembered his little place he had found in the woods behind the neighbor’s backyard, and suddenly he didn’t feel so anxious. That was where he wanted to go.

He headed past their house, turning into their yard, hoping to God they didn't set up some crazy alarm system underneath the grass. Wouldn't that be something?

He also hoped nothing would wake them up as he walked through their yard, tired of walking on the sidewalk. He would eventually have to cut in their yard anyway, since there was a small little entrance in the big, dark trees that were behind their houses that Ashton liked to call his own.

As he got to the side of the house, he smiled even if he didn't feel like smiling. Luckily the neighbor's fence wasn't connected to the other neighbor's fence, surprisingly, so he could just head back in between them, and he made his way down the hill, ignoring the sounds of things chattering and running away as he stepped closer to his destination. It was dark out, but Ashton knew this path more than he knew himself, and that really wasn't a good thing. Maybe. At least he knew he wasn't going to trip and that he knew where he was going.

Maybe it was a good thing. Who knows.

There was a little fence that surrounded the entrance to the woods and Ashton used to tell Harry and Lauren that there were fairies and unicorns that live in there every time they played in the abandoned yard, but to be careful because there's trolls and evil roots that will get them. He only said that to keep them in eyesight whenever they wanted to go play in the woods, so they wouldn't go off on their own and get lost.

Even if Lauren did say she once saw a fairy fly off into the distance.

Ashton smiled at the thought and climbed over the short Victorian style black fence. It certainly looked like a fairy-tale, too, and that was what made everything real-life about what he told his siblings about the fairies. He headed down the path which he had found about a year and a half ago, where he had discovered that there was a big clearing where the moon's rays shone down on whoever sat in the middle (or, kind of the middle, since the pond was in the exact middle) and it was so peaceful and had flowers and a small little pond in it and Ashton had claimed that spot to be his. The path to get there was a little complex, almost as sort of a loop de loop, but Ashton had walked it so many times that the path had worn down, becoming dirt instead of grass so it was easy for him to see where to go.

As soon as he made it to the clearing, his mind started to think of his friend and what he had said to him. He understood that Michael was just... _upset_ , to put it lightly, but he didn't need to say those things to him. He wasn't even sure if he had ever heard Michael sound like that before. He sounded so nasty and so mean and Ashton figured it was only because it was three AM but the fact that the eldest sided with Luke over Michael didn't mean that their friendship should be over.

And he even knew that Michael didn't meant it (the other called him again to cry to him twenty minutes later about how he was just angry, he didn't mean it) but it still hurt how Michael just snapped at him. He should've expected it, but still.

Ashton sat down in the grass, laying down after a moment and staring up at the moon. He sighed, hearing the fish in the pond flick their tails around. This was much more peaceful than Michael yelling (and then crying) at him. Much more peaceful than locking himself in the bathroom. Much more peaceful than the urge to--

There was a noise that startled him, the sound of a sigh, and he sat up, looking around cautiously even though he could barely see. He wanted to think that it was probably some animal, but what animal could make that noise? He focused on one spot of the woods, one that was off to the left of him, and he could see a black blob sitting there.

The moon wasn't shining on that black blob, though, and Ashton wondered if it were really there or if his eyes were just playing tricks on him. He wondered if it were an animal again, but wouldn't he be able to see its eyes glowing?

_Oh, this is creepy._

_So much for peaceful._

Ashton almost wanted to call out, to say hello or do _something_ , but he wasn't quite sure if the thing knew he was here or not, and what if it'll kill him?

"Hello?" Ashton said quietly and he could see the black blob jump. Good. It was easy to frighten. That made the situation better. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm not going to hurt you either." the blob said and Ashton recognized it to be male, a male human, and thank God it wasn't an animal that could kill him. But, to be honest, he would've much rather it be an animal, since what the _hell_ was this guy doing out so late? Not to mention, he's in Ashton's place. Ashton found it. What the hell was this guy doing there?

"I didn't think you knew this place existed." Ashton admitted, and flinched when the guy stood up. He watched the blob move, move into the light of the moon and Ashton sighed, looking at him. He was fucking beautiful, with blond streaks in his black hair and tan skin, with dark eyes that were kind of mysterious, but Ashton could tell that fought with his personality, since the boy seemed too happy and too sharing to be mysterious.

"I didn't think you'd be that gorgeous." The boy, who had to be younger than him, smiled and sat down next to him. _At least he's friendly_.

"Well, that was a bit cheesy, don't you think?" Ashton teased and the boy -- who was incredibly gorgeous, what the _fuck_? Ashton still wasn’t over the fact that he was attractive -- smiled a bit.

"Yeah, guess so. But it's true. And I found this place two weeks ago, when I moved into that house that has the entrance to the woods behind it." _So this was that new kid. The new neighbor_. "I normally come later in the morning, like, 5 am or something. The sunrise is really pretty, like the moonlight is too." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, laying down in the grass next to him. "I just needed to escape, you know?"

 _Well, it was nice to know the kid's an open book_ , Ashton thought with a bit of a smile on his face. "Yeah," Ashton admitted shyly, still flattered that this kid told him he was gorgeous. "I do that a lot, too."

It was quiet before the boy next to him turned, and Ashton felt his hands shake when he realized just how fucking _close_ this kid was. "What's your name?"

Ashton shook his head. "I'm not telling."

"Fine. Where do you live?"

"That's even worse!" Ashton shrieked and the boy laughed, shaking his head. "That was so creepy. You're not gonna cut me up into bits and toss me in that pond, are you?"

The boy groaned, scrunching up his nose. "Ew, God no. That just sounds too smelly and it also sounds like too much work. Also, is flesh and bone even good for those fish?" Ashton paused, staring up in the sky. "Checkmate. So no, I won't kill you. Too tired to do that and even if I were fully rested, that still sounds like too much work."

"You remind me of my friend, Michael."

"Oh, so you can give me your friend's name but not yours?" The boy asked, arching an eyebrow at him playfully and Ashton shrugged.

"Of course." Ashton snickered a little, looking at the other boy, and could he see him pouting? That's a little adorable. "At least I'm not the one that's sitting so close to a stranger."

And even though he scooted away, the stranger still had the audacity to say, "well, technically you were, too," and he sat closer to the pond, pouting with his arms crossed.

Ashton sat up, rolling his eyes and facing the other. "Fair point. Here, how about this: you give me your name first? Then tomorrow -- _er_ , today, later on today in the early morning, let's say nine AM? -- I'll tell you my name. And maybe where I live. Sound fair?" Ashton smiled coyly at the thought and the other boy shook his head. "What?"

" _Noo_ ,"

"What do you mean no?"

"Because then how do I know that _you're_ not gonna kill me and chop me up and throw me in the pond?"

Ashton rolled his eyes. "Because that's too much work."

"You can't use my reason!"

"Ugh, fine! I'm not going to kill you because I don't plan on killing people. Ever." Ashton could see the other sigh and start to relax against the rocks by the pond. "Never ever."

"Alright, curly. But, how about at nine AM today, we can meet here in daylight and tell each other our names?" The boy suggested and Ashton sighed, looking up at the moon and the stars once more. The moon was shining really bright, due to the full moon, and Ashton found it relaxing. "So I can see that gorgeous face in the morning sun as well."

"Do you write songs or something?" Ashton asked suddenly and he could tell it threw the boy off of his game so fucking hard he couldn't help but laugh. "I mean, that just sounded very... Lyrical. I mean if I saw someone in the woods I wouldn't think they're _gorgeous_. Especially in darkness."

"Well, call me stupid then. Because the moonlight shows your face and so far you look gorgeous, so. I just like seeing the beauty in everything." The boy mumbled wistfully. "And yes, I like writing songs."

"Mm. I think I might call you Songbird instead of stupid."

The other boy groaned. "That means I'll have to change yours from Curly to... Perfection. Leaves. Moonlight. I dunno, take your pick. Tree, maybe... Oh! Wait! No! I got one. Nymph. You remind me of one. They're the ones that just turn into anything nature-wise. What are the ones that turn into trees? Driads, aren't they?" Now Ashton could tell that the boy was getting excited and he smiled. "I still like Nymph, though. I mean, there's a pond here in the center. It has to mean something. Plus, you're as beautiful as one."

Ashton rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll be Nymph. You'll be Songbird."

Songbird just smiled and nodded his head. "So, what do you say about the nine am rendezvous? Where we say our names?"

"Sounds good. Though, by the way you're acting, I'm pretty sure the nickname Nymph isn't going away."

Songbird smiled and laughed. "Oh, never. It's never going away."

"Oh. Okay then."

It fell silent between the two and Songbird joined his side again and the two stared up at the sky, watching the moon and the stars. Suddenly, with Songbird initiating it, they then launched into why they were actually here (Ashton was quiet for most of that, he explained he didn't want to talk about it), how they found it (Songbird's puppy jumped over the fence because of a bird), and after a while Ashton was starting to warm up to him, and the other knew it too.

He could tell that Songbird was glad he did, because the younger boy started asking him deeper stuff and Ashton was actually letting him in since _why not_ , they were just two teens gazing up at the universe, insignificant to the stars. It was hard at first, Ashton and Songbird both knew it, but here the twenty year old was, talking to this unnamed stranger like they've been best friends, lovers maybe, for eternity, talking about their placement in the galaxy and their future dreams that their past selves wanted so terribly bad that they never really got ahold of as they stared up at the stars.

Ashton had even felt Songbird grip onto his hand when listening to him explain why he had to move and leave his football team behind, and Ashton glanced over at him, the moonlight starting to fade as it turned into weak sunlight and the blond could tell just by looking at him that _he_ still was the gorgeous one, with two moles on his cheek that formed a line and eyes that could light up the sun.

Ashton's grip tightened when he finally explained why he had come out there, and how he's self-harmed himself and he felt like exposing himself to the other boy when he simply just said, "well, I think you're super brave for telling me, even if I am a stranger who just told you my secrets."

"Thank you, Songbird." Ashton mumbled and stared up at the sky, watching it turn to a dark bluish grey color, one that normally associated with the news of rain. "We should probably leave, it looks like it might rain."

"Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams." Songbird stared at the sky. "Okay, sorry, now _that_ was an actually song lyric." Ashton laughed but sat up, staring up at the sky. "I can't believe we talked all night."

"I liked it." Ashton admitted and Songbird smiled, pulling him close to him and Ashton actually allowed it. "I liked it a lot."

"I like you a lot."

And there it was. The boy had dropped multiple hints throughout the night that he did, and Ashton was really starting to like him back. There was a bit of a longing that Ashton felt and it was weird but also exhilarating to feel that way and he didn’t really know how to feel about it. He wanted to almost kiss him, or have the other boy kiss him, it didn’t matter, all that mattered was the thought of his lips on his and that wasn’t good because they were just strangers, neighbors.

Songbird seemed to sigh, and he kept his hand on Ashton’s waist like it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

“Why do you like me?” The question seemed broken, like he was truly wondering why this kid liked him and maybe he was. Maybe he _was_ wondering why he liked him.

“You’re interesting and funny,” Songbird pulled him closer and Ashton could feel his breath on his and he shivered, but he could honestly pull it off and say it was the 7 AM chill that drifted throughout the air that made him cold. Songbird turned toward him, laying on his side so he could get a better look at the other, who happened to be on his back, laying down and staring up at the storm clouds that were brewing. “You’re amazing and incredible. Brave, strong, even. I like you a lot.”

Ashton could feel butterflies appear in his stomach and he tried to push them away, but they kept coming back like the persistent little shits they are, and eventually he just gave up and let them fly around if they so pleased to. “Well, thank you.” Ashton felt a drip of water on his forehead and he pouted, sitting up. “It’s starting to rain.”

Songbird paused, holding out his hand and nodding when he felt a raindrop as well. “Shit, I wanted to talk to you more.” Ashton laughed as Songbird stood, reaching over and grabbing onto the oldest boy’s hands, pulling him up. They were close to each other, closer than Ashton thought they were and the blond was able to see that Songbird was a little taller than him, and that made the boy pout. “That’s okay, we’ll be able to talk soon. We should probably leave before the path gets too muddy.”

“What if it’s still raining at nine AM?” Ashton asked and Songbird shrugged. “Should we just go out in the rain regardless?”

“Yes. That sounds awesome.”

“Alright, fine, Songbird. Let’s get outta here before you get too romantic on me.”

The only sound that Ashton could hear was Songbird laughing, and it sounded like the most wonderful thing he had ever heard.

* * *

As soon as they made it out of the woods, it started to rain harder than Ashton thought it was going to and Songbird let go of his hand and smiled at him, his wet, black hair clinging to his face. Ashton sighed as his hair was plastered to his face as well, the rain dripping on and fogging up his glasses and he huffed, crossing his arms. “We probably should’ve hurried up more.”

“Ah, but we’re in my backyard, so technically we made it.” Songbird mumbled, smiling up at the sky and Ashton looked away stubbornly, his sweater sticking to his arms.

“But now we’re all wet.”

“So? It’s fun. Come spin around with me in the rain!” Songbird exclaimed, like he wasn’t tired or he hadn’t been up all night and Ashton sighed, letting the other grab onto his hands and spin him around. It didn’t help that the ground was slippery, and of course Songbird had to slip and bring Ashton down with him, and the older boy landed on top of him, a little out of breath. “Okay, now I will admit, that was almost as a cliché as a romance movie, but I didn’t mean to do that. I swear.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, snickering a bit as he shook his head. “Oh, of course you didn’t mean to do that,” he said and he felt Songbird lean up, finally fucking pressing his lips to Ashton’s like he had wanted him to do since four AM and the blond kissed back harder than he expected he would, wrapping his arms around his neck. The oldest was the first to pull away though, and with a quick, little smug smirk, he asked, “did you mean to do that, though?”

Songbird rolled his eyes, mocking what the other had done earlier and he nodded his head. “I wanted to do that for a while now.”

 _I know, because I wanted you to_ , the blond thought sourly, a smile creeping on his face anyway. “Good.”

He laughed. “Are you gonna get up off of me now or should I keep kissing you until nine AM?” he asked coyly and the blond rolled his eyes. It fell quiet between the two before he mumbled, “‘M Calum, then, since you didn’t answer and staying out here, kissing in the rain doesn’t seem like a bad idea.”

“N-no, you weren’t supposed to tell me your name until nine AM!” Ashton cried out, pouting and jutting out his bottom lip, swatting the boy's chest lightly and the raven-haired boy couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s not fair. I’m still not telling you my name until nine AM.”

“Ugh, that’s not fair, come on.” Calum pouted too and Ashton shook his head.

“Maybe that’s why you shouldn’t have told me your name.”

Calum rolled his eyes. “Then tell me where you live, I have to take you home then.”

Ashton smirked this time, looking down at the boy with a pleased look in his eyes. “I live right next to you. You don’t have to take me home, I can easily walk home right now, without telling you my name until nine AM.”

“Well, do you know what time it is? It could easily be nine AM.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not--”

The boy was interrupted by Calum’s lips crashing against his once more, and there was the distant roll of thunder in the background, and Ashton loved the sound as he ran his wet fingers through Calum’s wet hair. The kiss lasted longer than he thought it was going to, Calum’s hands grabbing at his hips as the eldest arched them only slightly, taking in the taste of this fucking stranger like there wasn’t any consequences that could come from it.

And Ashton fucking loved it. He hated himself for it, too, because technically he knew all the things about Calum that he himself had told him, but that was it. And now he was laying on the soggy ground, sucking face with the fucking kid he had met this morning. As Calum pulled away, Ashton breathed out, “Ashton,” with a pleased smile on his face, and he couldn’t help but love when Calum smiled, repeating the name like it was some beautiful thing that needed to be heard again and again.

“We should probably get inside,” Calum mumbled after hearing another crack of thunder, closer that time, and Ashton nodded his head. “I can bring you to my house and we could watch movies and wear pajamas all day.”

“That sounds good.” Ashton smiled as Calum got up off of him, grabbing onto his hands and lifting him up.

“Did your friend forgive you yet?” Calum asked randomly and Ashton shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m sure he will… Meanwhile, you can tell him to suck it because you’re gonna be watching the best fuckin’ movies ever, along with having the best fucking hot cocoa there ever was.”

“I’m sure Michael will be so jealous.” Ashton laughed, feeling a jolt of electricity going up his spine whenever Calum grabbed onto his hand, entwining his fingers with his as he kissed the boy’s cheek. “Yep. He’ll definitely be jealous.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'll update two birds of a feather soon! :) i just need some more cashton ideas before working on the muke ones.


End file.
